Three Ways to Love an Addict

For those of us who have a loved one with an addiction to alcohol or drugs, there are some very significant ways to help them without trying to “Fix” them. In co-dependency, we always try to fix the problem, fix the hurt, or fix the person, but can we … Really? The answer is no, which brings us to the first way to love an addict …b3f5c2a6bba5bf654ee56c521cadcaa9

  1. Stop trying to fix things. Your loved one and his or her addiction is something you have no control over. Trying to fix it will lead to YOUR insanity.  Instead of trying to fix the addict, fix yourself.  Yep! I know!  Many years ago, I picked up a book by Stormie O’Martian called “Power of a Praying Wife!”  I was going to pray my husband into sobriety! On the first couple of pages of that book, the words clearly said it was ME who needed to change.  What?  You have to be kidding!  I threw the book across the room. It broke the window blinds, hit the wall, and on the floor it sat for few days, until I gained the courage to change the things I can, starting with me.  This was a great place to begin to love my husband again.
  2. Get out-of-the-way! Every addict needs an enabler.  An addict simply cannot continue to use without one.  Enabling prevents consequences of one’s actions and bad decisions.  An enabler makes excuses and justifies the loved one’s behavior, even if they assume the blame in the process. In order to love your addict, set some strong, personal boundaries, and stop getting in God’s way of the teaching through negative consequences.  Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” I love to color with my granddaughter who is almost 3 years old.  I make a beautiful picture with lots of color, and I stay inside the lines … perfection! My granddaughter decides she wants to help me with my picture. To make it even prettier, she grabs a big black crayon and within seconds, makes huge scribbles across my masterpiece.  Don’t we do the same thing to God’s masterpiece when we decide to help?
  3. See through God’s eyes. Are you perfect? Of course, you are not.  Does God love you anyway? Of course He does. God loves your addict, too!  Just like you, He created your addict with special gifts, talents and purpose.  Discover those and focus on them.  Stop dwelling on the negatives.  See your loved one as God sees them and love them unconditionally the way He loves us.  This may do nothing for your addict, but it will go a long way in softening your heart to your situation.  With your heart in the right condition, don’t be surprised when your addict responds positively.  Do not give up before the miracle happens.
About the author:  Judy Walters draws on her past with her own powerful testimony to inspire and equip audiences in recovery from issues like addiction, co-dependency, abuse and low self-esteem. Her favorite thing is teaching, whether at the pulpit or in the classroom. She strongly conveys the healing nature of Christ through the Celebrate Recovery materials combined with knowledge from The Alpha Series materials by Pastor John Glenn. She is the Celebrate Recovery of Boynton Beach Ministry Leader. She provides administration, marketing, social media, event planning, donor development, customer service and public relations for Faith Farm as the ministry’s Project Manager.
As a mother of four with a former real estate career spanning 25 years, she has many stories and life lessons worth sharing. Redirection of her passion has led her to become a licensed minister and a counselor with compassion and a powerful message of hope for those who struggle with life controlling issues. She has a genuine love for ALL of God’s people and cherishes diversity. She is a friendly and enthusiastic disciple with a mission to show others what agape love looks like. Her goal is to remove the stereotype and preconceived stigma of addiction and recovery by showing others that recovery from life’s hurts, habits and hang-ups can be fun and even fruitful. “People in recovery for any life controlling issues are the strongest, bravest and most transparent people I know, and I admire their courage.”
Judy is a member of Faith Farm Ministries’ Academic Board serving as the Board Secretary. She serves on the Board of Directors for the Oceanside Emmaus community and is a published author,  copy writer and editor. Audiences are sure to have valuable take-a-ways when Judy is the presenter.
Learn more about Judy | Request Judy

One response to “Three Ways to Love an Addict

  1. Pingback: Three Ways to Love an Addict | faithfarmblog

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